How to Stop the Pain by Dr James B. Richards
This is a book that I highly recommend if you are going through emotional distress, if you feel that your life is like a roller coaster. Happy today, sad tomorrow and you just can’t figure out how to manage yourself? It is a self help book that would take you through bible principles on how to stop yourself from being hurt. One of the profound statements that I have always kept on my mind after reading this book says that
‘Nothing has the power to hurt you except you add meaning to it’
There is a statement that is often quoted ‘hurting people, hurt people’. My father is Lord, Rev Dapo Adegboyega added ‘ hurting people, hurt themselves and hurt others’.
Based on this, if you find yourself being hurt by people, then you need to be firstly telling yourself that those individuals are going through hurtful situations hence they want to unconsciously make you a victim of their circumstance. Man can only give you what he carries on the inside of him.
Secondly, the garden of your life can only yield what you have sown in it. Have you been sowing negative seeds in the lives of people? Are you the type of person that people want to be around or are you the type of person that people always look forward to saying goodbyes to? If you have been sowing hurtful seeds, then over a period of time, hurtful experiences would be yielded in the garden of your life.
Thirdly, do not position yourself as God in the life of people. Change start from within. I once said to someone that they sounded so negative that even if God was to show up, they would still give him an excuse why they needed to think that way. People are always full of their own opinions in life and the best ways that I find myself dealing with such people is in the following:
I’ll either agree to disagree with them to maintain my relationship with them or I would tell myself that if God has not changed their life, character or attitude, who am I to try to fix them? Lastly I would tell myself especially if I am dealing with a stranger ‘this could be the very last time that I could be seeing you so why the stress?’
Dr James through his book has taught me that unsolicited help can cause pain. Tell yourself that you can impact the world for change but you cannot impose change on the whole world. When Jesus came to his own, he own did not receive him, he then gave the power of sonship to those who received. My Prophet Dr Samson Ayorinde would often say that he has only been sent to those who receive him. Do not over burden yourself with a load that you cannot carry hence the unnecessary stresses around you.
Instead of spending your mental and emotional energy on the negative circumstance that you have experienced; Focus your energy on what you have been called to do and give assistance when required. I often say to myself that if I was to really pay attention to the things that I need to do in life, I would not have the time to focus on other people’s lives and businesses.
Find your purpose in life; discover the ability and capacity that God has put on the inside of you. Challenge your mind to think out of the ordinary. Set goals for the life that is ahead of you. Keep telling yourself that with God all things are possible. You only have one chance to hit hard in this life. No one has ever died and come back to live. Even when Jesus rose again he ascended into heaven. In fact the life span of his ministry was 3 years and we are still talking about him.
What can you and I do in the next 3 years of our lives to make a lasting impact for generations ahead of us? We are running a life race and even though we are all running at difference paces, we cannot afford to lose.
Success is not measured by what you done compared to what others have done. Success is measured by what you have done compared to what you should and could have done, or by what you are able to do. Myles Munroe.
I actually bought the book for someone but decided to read it first. After reading it I could not pass it on. It’s been about 10 years since and I am still enjoying the benefits of a renewed mind. I am amazed at how I am able to rise above pain and hurt and still maintain my smile. I once told myself that I would not allow myself to become a vessel of dishonour. Love is a decision not just an emotional expression. You can decide to change your environment but still love.
Even when it feels like I cannot avoid myself from being hurt, I talk myself out of it through constructive reasoning. Be truthful to yourself by looking at the situation from the other person’s view and then from an outsider’s point of view.
You can begin your process of healing today to stop your emotional pain. There is a balm in Gilead to heal your heart and mind.
I pray for your restoration today in Jesus name.
Praise Asemota 2014©